THE BLING BLOG

Not To Beat A Dead Horse, But The Sordid Tale Of Elizabitch Hurley Gets Worse (Better?) Every Day

The UK's Daily Mail lives up to its reputation for finding the stinkiest stench in every story, God love 'em.  They have far nastier quotes than yesterday's firebrand shocker (not) article from Yahoo! News.  Hooray Daily Mail!

What is so much fun about the Daily Mail is that they feign writing an article in favor of Poor Liz Hurley And How Hurt And Surprised She Is By What Her Brand New Father-In-Law Has Said and then they turn around and eviscerate her with his quotes.  Hilarity!

Here are some choice tidbits, and enjoy the dénouement:

"She feels that what was the happiest day of her life has been tarnished and doesn’t understand how after everything she has done for them -raising their social standing in India through the roof, for example - they could do this.

"But quite frankly she is also a little bewildered by all of this and was totally unaware about the extent of their grievances. Liz feels she made every effort to be a part of their extended family and fit in.

"She doesn’t think that they have taken into consideration how much planning went into the wedding celebrations - she was under a lot of pressure and was very, very stressed, and perhaps they misinterpreted this for rudeness.

"Now, Liz has even offered to reimburse the Nayars if they feel they’re out of pocket and hopes that this will be the end of the matter.

"Yet as far as she is concerned, that is it - she never wants to see Arun’s father or step-mother again."

It is understood, meanwhile, that a letter written by Vinod to his son, informing him that he wished to "cut all ties", is still awaiting response.

Speaking alongside his second wife, Joanne, in the Mail on Sunday, the retired businessman claimed they were made to feel like ‘second-class citizens’ at the couple’s English wedding, at Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire, and their Hindu blessing at the Meherangarh Fort in Rajasthan last month.

Vinod says that he was snubbed by Miss Hurley throughout the week-long celebrations.

Contrary to Indian custom, he was barred from the wedding platform during the Hindu fire ceremony in which the head of the family is supposed to officially welcome the bride into the family.

When he tried to access the platform, he was apparently confronted by his youngest son Nikhil and a bout of "pushing and shoving" ensued. He was then bundled away.

It has also emerged that the couple offended Indian relatives after issuing guests with a bizarre set of do’s and don’ts, advising them to "bring bacterial wipes and not give money to beggars".

He also revealed that a £35,000 ruby and diamond necklace which he and his wife had had commissioned for Miss Hurley to wear in the Indian ceremony was snubbed.

Similarly, they felt obliged to cancel a £30,000 post-wedding party that they had arranged in honour of the newlyweds after falling out with Miss Hurley and Arun, 41.

Talking about the Rajasthan ceremony, he said: "I think this elaborate Indian event was Elizabeth’s theatrical dream. It was certainly not a serious attempt to honour our customs.

"In the end it was just nonsense. The magazine wanted a great show, so they could justify the big fee they were charged. I think it was blatant and cynical commercialism."

He accused his daughter-in-law of being fame-hungry and "desperate", adding: "I once thought Liz was a lovely, unspoiled woman, but now I see that she is a very hard person.

"It was important for her to get celebrity faces there. That’s what the Hello! deal was about. She was fulfilling her contractual obligation.

"I never realised how desperate she is for fame and attention. My wife and I were publicly humiliated and treated like social outcasts for the sake of a £2 million magazine deal."

Hooray Daily Mail!

She snubbed the party they planned for her and then simply offered to pay for it and hoped that would make everything okay?  Huh?!  The Nayars/Nayers probably didn't have the kind of flatware that would photograph well enough for Hello.  Either that, or by that time everyone had run out bacterial wipes and fled the country on private jets.

Not wearing the jewelry they gave her?  Ouch.  The missus looks like she has some lovely (and expensive) traditional trinkets in the photo there.  Why be such a shrill bitch?

And the whole bit about shoving her father-in-law, the head of the family, off of the platform/stage thingy during the marriage ceremony?  Yikes!  Just unforgiveable.  And orchestrated by a younger brother no less?

This is going to be a huge mess with Elizabitch in the middle of it.  What does she think this is?  The second coming of the John Company and she's HRH Elizabeth I?  Take a history lesson, sister, the sun does set on the British Empire and has for a long, long time.

And to think I was hoping she could help me "raise (my) social standing...  through the roof."

What an insufferable, useless, self-serving bitch.  What a horror she is.  The best thing she could do would be to take that £2 million she got from selling her wedding photos to Hello! and give it to India's orphanages or to one of Mother Teresa's charities.  Something directly, charitably related to India.  But she won't.  She's a greedy snag.

Some sort of well-designed PR move is in order right about now.  I think her idea of a good PR move is to stand her ground and look for jobs being an anti-bacterial ad campaign pitch-bitch.  Can you see it?  With that faux-posh accent and everything?  "When I am forced to go to India, I wear a face mask when I shower and I roll around naked on sheets fashioned of Boots' anti-bacterial wipes.  It's heavenly!"

Go back to the carnival with the rest of the carnies, beyotch.  The only difference between you and the rest of the carnies is that some of them actually have something called talent.

(photo from the Daily Mail UK)

In Spite Of Mr. Singh's Assertion That Liz Loves India And India Loves Liz, Evidently ALL Of India Doesn't Love Liz Hurley - Gasp... What A SHOCKER!

It is with a heavy heart that I feel that I must inform all of you and most especially silver-tongued (penned?) prose writer, romantical suitor, and sweet snookums emailer Mr. Amar Singh that his pretty, pretty princess bride and her handsome groom are perhaps not the picture of grace and decorum who adore India that he once thought them to be.

It seems that Arun Nayar/Nayer (sigh, there are differing spellings and I am confused so I will offer both) and his new bride Elizardbreath Hurley have "humiliated" Nayar/Nayer's own parents in their own country.

To the degree that they are now actually speaking publicly and vehemently about it.  They have decided to cut all ties with their own flesh and blood.  And have made a bold but very sad public announcement.

Snap!  Mr. Singh...  I think that sort of changes things, doesn't it?

Here's Vinod Nayar/Nayer, father of Arun Nayar/Nayer, mind-bogglingly wealthy retired textile magnate, who has no reason to feel like anything other than a proud, accomplished gentleman, speaking about his son and Slizzard Hurley:

Vinod Nayer told the Sunday Mirror from Mumbai that he and his wife Joanne felt "publicly humiliated" and treated "like social outcasts" at the event, which took place in Britain and India last month.

"Liz and Arun have treated us very shabbily. My heart is heavy with pain," the newspaper quoted him as saying.

Nayer senior, a textile magnate, claims that the couple seemed to disrespect Indian relatives and did not act with consideration towards him and his wife.

"We were pushed into the background like poor relations. This has broken my heart," the 66-year-old added.

Guests at the wedding celebrations included singer Sir Elton John and supermodel Elle Macpherson.

"I have decided to cut all ties with my sons...I feel that Liz and Arun behaved shamefully and placed more importance on showing off than their own family," Nayer senior added.

He said that he had not spoken to his son since the wedding and had sent him a letter accusing him of having "disregarded me like one of your office boys."

"You have shown disrespect to me and my family, plus my dear friends who have been with me since your birth," the letter reportedly said.

Has everyone heard enough?  I have.  This is absolutely tragic.  This is a very, very wealthy man who has been at the top of his industry in India.  And his crap-ass son and his rotten-ass daughter-in-law managed to embarrass him and his wife and their oldest friends with their garish, cretinous, over-the-top, attention-getting shenanigans.  Parents are to be honored.  Period.  Unless they've done unforgivable things, in which case they should not be present.  Not shoved in the corner in favor of celebrities.

Oh, but that's right, we're talking about people for whom their rarefied world has a whole different set of rules in which everyone else is supposed to align themselves and play along in the slim hope of getting a ticket to the big tent.  Well there's a special, very warm corner in Hell for people like this.  Or maybe Ganesh will take a dump on their doorstep.

Charming.  Not surprising, though.  But still so, so tragic.

Case closed, people.  Case closed.

Unless, of course, Singh wants to continue our email romance and send me another liver-lipped missive about how ugly I am and what a stupid ho I am and how wonderful Liz is and how much she loves India and how much India loves her, in which case he knows where I'll post it.  P.S.  Singh, I have your I.P. address.

(photo from Yahoo.com)

The LiLo Drunken, Stoned, Zonkered BlackBerry Manifesto

What are the chances I can get this, LiLo's craaazee BlackBerry Manifesto put on a t-shirt?

What a waste.  Did you see Mean Girls?  Wasn't she cute?  We saw it the other night.

Cute no más.  She's a mess.

Save her!

Geoff Thomas: Hot Young Designer Makes The Cut

At first glance, the jewelry and wearable art from Geoff Thomas Designs seemed too edgy for my taste.  After all, I'm no rock star.  Not even a groupie.  Definitely not a starlet.  And certainly not one of Ms. Tyra's Next Top Crybabies.  But at the second and third (and every subsequent) glance, something new and compelling caught my eye and brought me back to take another look and want to know more about the artist behind the artistry.

Geoff Thomas the designer seems perfectly at ease surrounded by models clamoring for bikini tops of molded metal and rockers snatching up beautifully alloyed metals sprouting bolts in post-modern irony.  He is adept at boosting egos and enhancing self-images.  He makes them look hot.  This much is obvious, for these people are his most visible customer.

What is perhaps more interesting is how Geoff Thomas the businessman and marketing innovator is attracting a whole other type of customer.  Through the adept use of so-called "new media" such as reality TV, the blogosphere, and the (no doubt) very carefully calculated business expense of a high-end PR firm employed to strategically place him in said media, Geoff Thomas is reaching many more customers than your average jeweler.

Geoff Thomas, however, is not your average jeweler.  There is distinctive artistry to what he does.  Those who read The Bling Blog regularly will not instantly recognize his style as something they'd be accustomed to seeing here.  Not at all.  But look a bit closer and I think you will see what I see.  Geoff Thomas is the first in the "Young Designers Making The Cut" section for good reason.  Plus, he's a damn nice guy.

BB:  What is your background and training?

GT:  Well, I was painting, sculpting and going to school for business management at the time I started making jewelry.  A couple of friends and I started a gallery in downtown San Diego.  There were a lot of artists around and an intense friendly competition of trying to impress eachother with new things.  I wanted to make myself a bracelet out of copper and it came out good.  I got a lot of compliments on it and started getting requests.  I got some silver and a lot of jewelry books and just started doing it.  It all kind of took off from there.  I'd been in school long enough to know how to teach myself.

BB:  How did you know you wanted to be a jewelry designer?

GT:  I took to it quickly, and got great positive feedback from the beginning, so I felt really good about it.  I love working with metal and stone.  The thing I really like about jewelry is the intimate connection it has to the wearer.  A piece that someone wears frequently becomes part of their personality.  With jewelry, its a combination of the piece and the person wearing it that is the final expression, for me.

BB:  What other work have you done?  If not jewelry, what else could you see yourself doing?

GT:  I consider myself an all around artist but really decided to focus on jewelry when I turned thirty, three years ago.  I spent my twenties doing a little bit of everything; school, travel, painting, sculpture, jewelry, graphic design.  I even did the "acting" thing for a bit, and was a tattoo artist for a short time in Hawaii.  I feel jewelry design and fabrication is my strongest talent and what I will be known for in the future.  I realized early on though that I wanted to create with my hands and eyes for a living.
 
BB:  Who or what are your design and style influences? 

GT:  I'm really just interested in a lot of different things.  Everything from ancient Greek and Roman architecture, to Japanese art, to high fashion, to nature, to sci-fi and industrial design.  I don't really like to be labeled one thing; I try to take different elements from the world, and process them into my own aesthetic.

BB:  The Mokume-Gane collection has a strong Japanese influence and tradition.  How did you become familiar with it?  Describe the process and the metals and the materials used.

GT:  I became familiar with Mokume-gane a while back.  I can't quite remember, but I think it was a Lapidary Journal.  I was blown away by it and started researching it.  I finally found a supplier (Reactive Metals) that sold it already processed in final sheet form.  I started using that in some of my pieces.  Recently I've been making my own patterns from billets I get from the same supplier.  Making Mokume-gane from scratch is whole other art form and science in itself.  It's basically diffusion bonding of alternating layers of metal into one solid stack (billet).  It requires the metal layers being heated to a certain temperature in a kiln with perfect conditions inside to allow the layers to bond without solder.  It can be any combination of metals really, but some are harder to bond together than others.  You usually see mokume combinations in various alloys of copper, silver and gold.  Then you can gouge, forge and roll this piece to come out with an endless array of patterns.

BB:  What kind of welder do you use?

GT:  I use a "Little Torch" for all my fabrication, and just recently invested in a fusion welder.

BB:  What sets you apart from other designers?  You're doing something very different from the average goods sold in retail outlets, the internet or at shows, and that's a very good thing.  So often we see the same old thing.  Geoff Thomas does something unexpected, but still elegant and very wearable.  When I showed the photo of your Saw Chain bracelet to my husband, he was very taken with it, and that hardly ever happens.  Along the same line, who is your customer?

GT:  Well first of all that's the best compliment I can get.  When I can catch the eye of someone who is educated in art and design and hard to impress, it's the best.  As far as what sets me apart from other designers, you summed it up with your question.  I am trying to do something different, something unexpected and edgy, yet still elegant and wearable.  I hate seeing the same thing over and over.  What I'm trying to do is bridge the gap between art jewelry and fashion jewelry.  I'm building a brand and body of work that doesn't conform to any one thing and is in it's own niche.  For this reason my customer is everyone really.  At my showroom in Santa Monica, my customers range from the young and edgy to the older and more conservative type. 

BB:  What are some of your favorite pieces in your current collection?

GT:  Right now the Saw Chain bracelet you mentioned above is one of them.  A few of the bikini tops I made a while back are some of my most impressive works, metal smith wise.  Usually my newest work is my favorite. 

BB:  Is there an piece in your collection that stands out as your all-time favorite piece of jewelry?

GT:  For my personal aesthetic, I would say the Razed Cuff bracelet with mokume-gane.  For some reason this piece sticks in my head the most, and just feels like me.  I have a few pieces I'm working on right now that I think will take its place though.

BB:  If you could design for any celebrity, who would it be?  Do you have a celebrity muse, and she doesn't know it yet?  I could see Gwen Stefani having a real affinity for your pieces.

GT:  Gwen Stefani would definitely be one of them, and I hear that a lot. 
 
BB:  Who else, besides you, is making innovative jewelry?

GT:  Actually my girlfriend Marla Trudine does amazing Art Nouveau-inspired jewelry, that is unique and powerfully feminine.  There are many amazing "art jewelry" designers out there, but you don't see them in the mainstream very often.

BB:  Speaking of Marla...  gift-giving jewelry designer to jewelry designer must be interesting...  Do you create things for one another or default and just go the civilian route of Laker tickets and chocolates and flowers?

GT:  HaHaHa, that's a great question!  You're right, we've been together for almost two years and neither of us has made a piece specifically for the other.  So I guess we do go the default civilian route.  It seems strange, but each of us have such a unique style and are so impressed with the other's, that we may be a little intimidated.

Interestingly, our work is very different but compliments eachother very well.  We also tend to wear our own work most of the time for marketing purposes (no one's a better walking billboard for your work than yourself).  That being said, I do have a few ideas marinating about the ring I'm going to make for her (wink, wink) sometime soon.  It will have to be so perfect though; that will take some time.

BB:  You've really embraced "new media" such as reality TV and the blogosphere as avenues for self-promotion.  As much as many of us (okay, me) would like for Ms. Tyra and her young hysterics-in-training to go away, ANTM really helped put you in the spotlight as a jewelry designer.  Also Rockstar: Supernova.  What were those experiences like?  They must have been pretty exciting.

GT:  It was exciting and it got me some great exposure.  These days you need to get your name out where ever you can.  My work has been in a lot of TV shows, movies and magazines lately and it's always exciting and validating for some reason.  Plus, it's fun to tell family and friends.

BB:  Your opinion, if you have one, regarding the upcoming "Blood Diamond" movie and the surrounding controversy?

GT:  It's a tough one.  I think it's good that attention is being brought to the world about unethical practices.  It's hard for me as a small designer to really know where all my materials come from.  I try to buy from reputable suppliers in the U.S. but you never really know.  I hope the industry makes more information available for the average jeweler to make decisions on.

BB:  What is next for Geoff Thomas?

GT:  Right now I'm working on getting my sterling line and my high-end gold and mokume-gane lines out to retailers.  I plan to continue to develop these lines while making custom one-of-a-kinds.  I have some ideas for handbags, full body pieces, furniture and leather goods I'd like to get to at some point.

BB:  And finally, which is more likely to happen:
a.  Angelina Jolie dumps Brad Pitt and bags the "Big One," self-proclaimed eternal bachelor and Pitt best friend George Clooney and they marry
or
b.  Hillary Rodham Clinton is elected President in 2008

GT:  b.

(photos courtesy of Geoff Thomas)

Vera Wang Designs Everything; Kitchen Sink Is Next

I was flipping through the latest Town & Country bridal magazine and stumbled across a parade of ads for Vera Wang.  The usual suspects were there:  the bridal gowns, the bridesmaids dresses, the tabletop goods, the jewelry, the stationery, the Wang-appointed suite at the Halekulani in Honolulu... and then...  mattresses?!

Mattresses?!  The Vera Wang mattress?

Yes, apparently mattresses, too.  The Vera Wang mattress by Serta.

For an unintentionally hilarious and quasi-disturbing experience, go to Serta and click on old Vera's picture and watch a little video wherein the mattress mistress herself tells you in her nasal New Yawker voice how a mattress needs to be "romaaaantic" and how "life is but a dream" whilst rolling about on her mattress collection in her signature black adult footie-pajama-leggings or whatever it is that she always wears that make her look like a Cirque du Soleil performer.

Further, here are some words of mattress-aesthetic wisdom from Vera's marketing machine:

In designing her mattress collection, Vera Wang turned to what she knows best - bridal.  The Bridal bed is luxury at its simplest and most elegant.  Inspired by one of the designer's best-selling bridal dresses, the fabric on this Mega Eurotop mattress is woven with holographic thread to truly make it sparkle.

"Inspired by one of the designer's best-selling bridal dresses?"  Oops.  I think I know which one that is, too.  Take a look at the ad again and see if you can figure it out.

Tell me, readers, how would you feel if you and your beloved saw a $1500 pillowtop mattress at Billy Bob's Beds bearing the same sparkle and quilting pattern as your $5000 Vera Wang gown?

Don't get me wrong.  I really love Vera Wang's design sensibility.  Her personal look, not so much.  The whole black-on-black leaves a bit to be desired; it never changes.  But her collections are nearly always beautiful.  Her china patterns are graceful, the flatware is very pleasing and hefty in the hand, the crystal is elegant...

Even the jewelry quite nice.  Take a look at the Fine Jewelry.  I've heard, however, that the micro-pavé is only for the daintiest and low-impact of jewelry wearers, even more so that normal micro-pavé.  And I am not thrilled about how she is moving decidedly downmarket with some of her pieces.  Some are going for as little as $350 at mall jewelers, and I think it dilutes and compromises her brand.

And that's really what this is about, isn't it?  Branding?

She's selling the Vera Wang lifestyle and the Vera Wang brand.  The Vera Wang Bride needs Vera Wang shoes, Vera Wang bridesmaids, Vera Wang registry items, Vera Wang invitations, Vera Wang perfume, Vera Wang lingerie, and, apparently, a Vera Wang mattress.  All of it, thus far, in good taste.  But she's teetering on the precipice, no?  Is she going to jump the shark in the manner of Fonzie?  I am exhausted from typing "Vera Wang" and I know you're tired of reading it.

It's like total world domination.

The Bling Blog Appears In Women's Wear Daily!

The Bling Blog made its MSM (mainstream media) debut in late October with a feature in the Accessories section of Women's Wear Daily.

How 'bout them apples?

Included in Cate Corcoran's article were the inimitable Manolo, the diminuitive yet formidable Kristopher Dukes, and the impeccably stylish and not-at-all snobbish Bag Snobs.

I feel utterly honored and thrilled to have been included in such a cohort of fine, bright and funny writers and arbiters of taste and style.  A quick hop to the Manolo and you can read the intro to the article.

All I can say is "Wow."

It was great fun being interviewed by the very magazine/newspaper with which I used to wallpaper my bathroom as a teenager.  My mother subscribed; I pilfered the leftovers.  I pored over them, too, night after night, deciding which were the best editorials.

Can you imagine?  The bathroom was plastered with Linda, Christy, Naomi, Cindy, Tatjana and the other Amazons in their finest 80's Hervé Léger Ace Bandage wrap dresses, big hair (remember Linda with long hair) and furs and all.

And now some twenty years later to get to talk WWD about what I love to do the most, write about jewelry?  That's what is called a dream come true.

"Life Without Ed" Jewelry vs. The Dastardly Pro-Ana Red Bracelet

It's on.  And I want "Life Without Ed" jewelry to win.

This morning JCKStyle brings us a very serious topic, that of eating disorders and the role the media and fashion can and do play in either supporting their growth or decline.

Eating disorders entered the jewelry market several years ago with pro-ana bracelets, which signify and even celebrate the wearer's disease with other victims.  Now, jewelry designer Sue Gillerlain and singer/author Jenni Schaefer, who wrote Life Without Ed:  How One Woman Declared Independence From Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too, promote the opposite message with Life Without Ed jewelry, an inspirational collection that celebrates recovery from these diseases.

The phrase "Life Without Ed" ("Ed" stands for "eating disorder") was coined by Schaefer's former therapist, who treats eating disorder patients as if they are in an abusive, destructive relationship.  The corresponding jewelry line was inspired by survivors who said that small, meaningful items helped them to recover.  "(The jewelry is) a symbol of hope and faith," Schaefer says.  "(One survivor) calls it her 'Ed armor.'"  The line features two-sided sterling silver charms, necklaces, and bracelets with the inspiring phrase; a sketched flower to signify growth; and a freshwater pearl, which symbolizes wisdom.  Ten percent of proceeds go to the National Eating Disorders Association.

Life Without Ed jewelry, which can be purchased on sites like Sarah-Kate, has gotten "a phenomenal response," says Schaefer, who appears today on Dr. Phil as an expert on eating disorders.  Now would someone please send the pieces to some of our celebrity friends?

And now is when you'll hear a huge, uproarious "amen" from the Bling Blog choir.  You'll never, ever see me plug trinkety silver jewelry that has been previously featured on (gag) the Dr. Phil show.  Unless there is a seriously compelling reason to do so.

Is this photo compelling reason enough?  Yeah, thought so.  That's Nicole Richie, and that's no Kabbalah bracelet.

So, three cheers for JCKStyle's highly topical article and trinkety silver Life Without Ed baubles!  Who knows?  It might be just the sort of the thing to inspire a recovering person.  And they're pretty and sweet.  Take a look.  The charms have stuff on the front and back.  Free shipping, too.

And with a tagline like "Warming Hearts Everywhere," how can you not like them?  We like them a helluva a lot better here than we like the pro-ana stick figures.

The WE Channel's "Platinum Weddings"

Sunday night television has some really craptacular selections as far as so-called entertainment is concerned.

Generally we go for the good writing and solid acting of Grey's Anatomy or revel in the crazy gorillas training to be SEALs on the Military Channel's Elite Forces/SEAL BUDs Training.  Good stuff.

But a couple of weeks back I came across a refreshing show on the WE Channel (I know, I know, can you believe it?) called Platinum Weddings.  Unlike the horrid, Jerry Springer-esque offerings on the same channel like Bride vs. Bride and the deplorable Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings is all about decent folks with good taste and seemingly unlimited budgets who are trying make wonderful memories with a beautiful wedding.

There is nary an hysterical, insufferable, despicable bitch bride or drunken, panty-chasing groom in the lot.  No histrionics.  No tantrums.  And tears?  Well, yes, but they're sweet, sincere tears of joy.

And I watched six episodes before making this conclusion, so you're safe.  You won't be offended.

There are gorgeous gowns, cute, likeable couples, charming, proud families, amazing catering spreads, towering cakes, generous charitable donations, world-class entertainment, compelling meldings of intriguing cultures, hypnotic floral arrangements, internationally-reknowned hair and makeup artists, genius photographers, and impeccably orchestrated party planning.

And the jewelry?  Ay, caramba!  Engagement rings, wedding rings, wedding gifts of jewelry, tasteful tiaras, diamond necklaces, family heirlooms, oh my!  Beautiful things.

Before you get nuts and say something like, "Well, of course they're pleasant and placid, they've got it made in the shade.  They can afford to be calm.  Money is no object."

Then I will quickly direct you Exhibits A-Z:  Hollyweird carnie-folk, for whom money is also no object.  And for whom every day is another excuse to act like entitled, hysterical, attention-starved children for the cameras.  Really no different than the Bridezillas and their icky grooms, just with better DNA, agents, stylists, managers and a curious ability to cultivate a fan base.

Check it out if you can.  Refreshing, truly.

Once Again, The Oxygen Network Thinks They Have A Damn Clue

Wendy B. from Canada gifted me with this jewel from Diamonds.net this morning, thank goodness, galvanizing me to get back to business and write about something of some relevance!  Here's the article in whole.

Women Say No To Diamonds, Yes To Hi-Tech Devices

Women are voraciously hungry for technology not diamonds, clothes, and shoes, according to a survey released by the women-owned cable television channel Oxygen Network. Nearly eight in 10 women told the network they would prefer a plasma television set to a diamond solitaire necklace. Seventy-nine percent of women surveyed are interested in using technology as opposed to simply having it in hand.

"We are proud to be giving women the credit that they deserve for being savvy and knowledgeable about technology – something we have long suspected and are thrilled to be able to quantify," said Geraldine Laybourne, CEO Oxygen Media. "Girls Gone Wired is Oxygen’s most ambitious Women’s Watch study yet, and we have gotten amazing new insights into women and technology."

According to the survey -- women clock a 15-hour day and are looking for fast, efficient technology to help their busy schedules. In the next five years women told Oxygen they see themselves investing in and becoming expert users with digital cameras and multi-use cell phones.

The survey was conducted by Oxygen to help its station advertisers understand needs of the view audience.

Wendy prefaced her email by wondering where exactly they got this sample of women who prefer plasma screens to diamonds.  And then she realized, a-ha!  Oxygen viewers...

A brief review of Oxygen's fetid fare, if you will.  Viewers who are in one moment being told to buy, buy, buy! jewelry and in the next they're being told that a 103" plasma screen and a Treo that can wax your bikini line is really the best use of your money.  And who needs a man anyway?

She-Ra man-haters unite!

And please, please, if you can stomach it, read this now.  This is how Geraldine Laybourne, the braying loud-mouth CEO of Oxygen Media, feels is an appropriate way to introduce ones children to the public spotlight.  This is a sick woman.

Laybourne hasn't a clue about women, about children, about anything.  And certainly not about jewelry vs. plasma screens.  Next year there will be a bigger, better plasma screen because those amazing engineers and technicians will make one.  There may also be a bigger, better diamond.  Quite likely.  But if there is, we might not want it, because we women become attached to these things in a very real and sentimental way that a robot like Mrs. Laybourne could not understand.

Further, has she considered that today's woman might want both the diamond and the plasma screen?  Touché!  This woman is so, just, beyond, that it is mind-boggling to me that she continues to build her empire.  And on the back of Oprah Winfrey no less.

Perhaps she has had the foresight to put together a trust fund for therapy for her kids, because they're gonna need it.  Perhaps.  If not, Oprah probably has.  She likes the kids and puppies.

UPDATE:  How about this asinine headine?  "Women like tech toys more than shoes."  Wow.  There's some good research and reporting.

What about those of us who like our Taryn Rose shoes, our PowerBook G4s and don't necessarily think that we have to be one way or the other about it.  Must we choose?  We think not.

Can't we be very Agent 99 about things?  We think Agent 99 had it both ways.  And we like that about her.

New Television Show Planned For The Oxygen Network

The Oxygen Network (which from what I have gleaned is like the Lifetime Network only with fewer movies, with more re-runs of the "Tyra Banks Show," and the same number of poor, hapless, clueless and pathetically victimized women) has plans for a new show about jewelry.

Here's the scoop from JCK Style:

A new television program on jewelry is reportedly in the works at the Oxygen Network.  According to a release, the show will follow an accessories editor as she discusses jewelry with the likes of fashion designers and supermodels.

JCKstyle is all for promoting jewelry; we just hope a network whose Web site boasts:  "Mo'Nique's Fat Chance: Are You Fabulous and Thick?  You Could Win $10,000!" has a more elegant approach for jewelry.

Indeed.  We, too, are all in favor of promoting jewelry.  And we, too, hope there is a more elegant approach in mind.

The idea, in its essence, sounds pretty good actually.  But with Oxygen's track record and its unfortunate genesis as the brainchild not of Oprah Winfrey (though she has put her name on it), but of Geraldine Laybourne, it is surely doomed to mediocrity at best.  This is the same Geraldine Laybourne who is responsible for the plummeting nosedive of quality, family-oriented programming at the Disney Channel.  The woman responsible for the farts, boogers and hapless, clueless parents on Nickelodeon's shows.

And so it's really no surprise that Oxygen has programming like the above-mentioned trainwreck starring the brash and unapologetic Mo' Nique.  Don't get me wrong...  supporting positive self-image in women is a good thing.  But celebrating and rewarding obesity?  It's not right.  Healthy is right.  Healthy at all sizes, 2 through 22 (and above), is right.  Mo' Nique isn't selling healthy.

Is it just me, or is that sort of like the equivalent of those insipid end-of-the-school-year awards ceremonies, where Everybody's A Winner?  That's right!  Achievement, skill and being the best don't count.  You're all winners.  And the parents have to sit through three hours of made-up accolades so no one is left out.

How do kids get self-esteem?  Evidently the schools seem to think it's done by giving every kid a ribbon or a prize.  For doing nothing.  Celebrate mediocrity!  Not, you know, the traditional way, by EARNING it.  By doing esteemable actions?  Seems obvious.

Self + esteemable behavior = Self-esteem.  Duh.

Hey, all you parents better buy yourselves some of those butt cushions, because your asses are going to fall asleep during the marathon end-of-the-school-year love-in.  It's that time again, isn't it?

Grrrrrr.

Oh, my.  What was this post about?  Right.  A new show on Oxygen about jewelry.

I give the jewelry show a shelf life of four to six episodes.  Max.  Where's Bravo when you them?