THE BLING BLOG

Pimp My Nutcracker

Roll over to Pimp My Nutcracker for some laughs.

He can be fully iced-out with pimp cup, bling, feathered fedora, bowling ball, boots, etc.

Holla!

(courtesy of the big pimps over at the Coalition Of The Swilling)

The LiLo Drunken, Stoned, Zonkered BlackBerry Manifesto

What are the chances I can get this, LiLo's craaazee BlackBerry Manifesto put on a t-shirt?

What a waste.  Did you see Mean Girls?  Wasn't she cute?  We saw it the other night.

Cute no más.  She's a mess.

Save her!

Oh, Yeah, I Had A Birthday... Beats Me What Happened That Day, Apparently It Was Really Nice!

35.

Yes, I turned 35 on November 28th.  However, I worked all day, every day, the seven days before it, on my birthday, and the three days after it.  So it's all a blur.  A complete blur.

There was some dinner in there.  A very nice dinner, indeed, at which I nearly face-planted and fell asleep after salad from exhaustion.  Yes, exhaustion.  Not wine.  Exhaustion.

And gifts!  Yes, there were lovely gifts.  Lots of them!

   

1.  Snappy orangey-pink Abbey Road pajamas.
2.  Tod's orange chopper bag and wallet.
3.  Birth order book.
4.  Makeup brushes.
5.  Box of orange Velveeta.
6.  Pilates Reformer classes.
7.  Flowers with orange tulips.

Vera Wang Designs Everything; Kitchen Sink Is Next

I was flipping through the latest Town & Country bridal magazine and stumbled across a parade of ads for Vera Wang.  The usual suspects were there:  the bridal gowns, the bridesmaids dresses, the tabletop goods, the jewelry, the stationery, the Wang-appointed suite at the Halekulani in Honolulu... and then...  mattresses?!

Mattresses?!  The Vera Wang mattress?

Yes, apparently mattresses, too.  The Vera Wang mattress by Serta.

For an unintentionally hilarious and quasi-disturbing experience, go to Serta and click on old Vera's picture and watch a little video wherein the mattress mistress herself tells you in her nasal New Yawker voice how a mattress needs to be "romaaaantic" and how "life is but a dream" whilst rolling about on her mattress collection in her signature black adult footie-pajama-leggings or whatever it is that she always wears that make her look like a Cirque du Soleil performer.

Further, here are some words of mattress-aesthetic wisdom from Vera's marketing machine:

In designing her mattress collection, Vera Wang turned to what she knows best - bridal.  The Bridal bed is luxury at its simplest and most elegant.  Inspired by one of the designer's best-selling bridal dresses, the fabric on this Mega Eurotop mattress is woven with holographic thread to truly make it sparkle.

"Inspired by one of the designer's best-selling bridal dresses?"  Oops.  I think I know which one that is, too.  Take a look at the ad again and see if you can figure it out.

Tell me, readers, how would you feel if you and your beloved saw a $1500 pillowtop mattress at Billy Bob's Beds bearing the same sparkle and quilting pattern as your $5000 Vera Wang gown?

Don't get me wrong.  I really love Vera Wang's design sensibility.  Her personal look, not so much.  The whole black-on-black leaves a bit to be desired; it never changes.  But her collections are nearly always beautiful.  Her china patterns are graceful, the flatware is very pleasing and hefty in the hand, the crystal is elegant...

Even the jewelry quite nice.  Take a look at the Fine Jewelry.  I've heard, however, that the micro-pavé is only for the daintiest and low-impact of jewelry wearers, even more so that normal micro-pavé.  And I am not thrilled about how she is moving decidedly downmarket with some of her pieces.  Some are going for as little as $350 at mall jewelers, and I think it dilutes and compromises her brand.

And that's really what this is about, isn't it?  Branding?

She's selling the Vera Wang lifestyle and the Vera Wang brand.  The Vera Wang Bride needs Vera Wang shoes, Vera Wang bridesmaids, Vera Wang registry items, Vera Wang invitations, Vera Wang perfume, Vera Wang lingerie, and, apparently, a Vera Wang mattress.  All of it, thus far, in good taste.  But she's teetering on the precipice, no?  Is she going to jump the shark in the manner of Fonzie?  I am exhausted from typing "Vera Wang" and I know you're tired of reading it.

It's like total world domination.

Bling, Philly Style, Courtesy Of Reader Tim

My good buddy Tim has a neat job where he travels the country spreadin' the love and bringing health and well-being to the alumni of a wellness center in Arizona.

On a recent trip to Philadelphia, he came across this fine window display.  And he knew that all of us would really appreciate a photo of it.

And we certainly do, don't we?  It's so...  shiny.

No word yet whether or not Tim picked up a few baubles for himself.

The Bling Blog Appears In Women's Wear Daily!

The Bling Blog made its MSM (mainstream media) debut in late October with a feature in the Accessories section of Women's Wear Daily.

How 'bout them apples?

Included in Cate Corcoran's article were the inimitable Manolo, the diminuitive yet formidable Kristopher Dukes, and the impeccably stylish and not-at-all snobbish Bag Snobs.

I feel utterly honored and thrilled to have been included in such a cohort of fine, bright and funny writers and arbiters of taste and style.  A quick hop to the Manolo and you can read the intro to the article.

All I can say is "Wow."

It was great fun being interviewed by the very magazine/newspaper with which I used to wallpaper my bathroom as a teenager.  My mother subscribed; I pilfered the leftovers.  I pored over them, too, night after night, deciding which were the best editorials.

Can you imagine?  The bathroom was plastered with Linda, Christy, Naomi, Cindy, Tatjana and the other Amazons in their finest 80's Hervé Léger Ace Bandage wrap dresses, big hair (remember Linda with long hair) and furs and all.

And now some twenty years later to get to talk WWD about what I love to do the most, write about jewelry?  That's what is called a dream come true.

Happy One Year Anniversary To Us!

This past weekend, Trey and I traveled to Los Angeles for my sister's 50th birthday celebration.

On October 8th, on our way back to Texas, we returned to The Scene of The Crime...  fabulous Las Vegas for our one year wedding anniversary!  We were married there last year, and decided to do the same tour de Vegas in celebration.

We stayed at The Venetian.  Viva la kitsch!  Love the rooms there.  Very luxe.  And we ate at Piero Selvaggio Valentino, where Buffalo ordered the buffalo and I had the scallops.  And the lobster cannelloni.  And the asparagus Milanese.  And some other stuff.  And then proceeded to have to take an hour-long walk afterward to avoid a food coma.

The next day we went to see the white tigers, white lions, snow leopards, and Siberian tigers and others nice and early in the Secret Garden while it was still cool outside.  Amazing.  Some of the healthiest, most active, captive large cats you'll ever see.  The habitat is spectacular.  As strange as those Siegfried & Roy characters are, they are very good with the white tiger breeding program and especially good with the white lions, having brought them back from extinction.

Then we got our shop on at Caesar's Palace Forum Shops and hit Thomas Pink where I acquired some new shirts and cuff links.  Trey even got me a shirt and some cuff links.  Which he most definitely didn't need to do.  Because remember way back when?  When some dirty rat sent me the Gorsuch catalog and I obsessed over it?  Well, for our anniversary he gave me the catalog again and a gift card (it's sort of like a paper gift certificate, and paper being the traditional gift for the first anniversary) and a trip to Vail or Beaver Creek or Aspen to go to the store around the time of my birthday in November.  Wheeeeeee!

Other delights spotted on our perambulations about the shopping venues of Las Vegas?  Graff, Harry Winston, Tiffany & Co., Cartier, Bulgari...  and on and on.  It was all very impressive and shiny.  These stores generally have only the finest goods and the largest stones, and that's always fun to see.  But as my mother mentioned on the plane ride we shared to Las Vegas, sometimes it's a real yawn if you see one 12 carat D-color after another, you know?  Sort of like systematic desensitization.  And I tend to agree.  I was much more taken with the burnt orange handbag at Tod's at a certain point.  Okay, not really.  Well, perhaps...

But can I tell you what never ceased to delight/horrify us?  The endless window displays of bada-bling rose and red gold giganto-humongo-wristwatches for the newly-minted craps winner who just scored $50,000 at the tables and doesn't realize that a chunk a'dat gots ta' go to the IRS.

There were windows clogged, like left anterior descending arteries filled with plaque and fried food indiscretions, with pavéd, crusted, shellacked timepieces with minimal time-telling functions and maximum flash.  With - get this...  wait for it...  the PRICE TAGS PLAINLY VISIBLE in the window.  Aaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh!

It was so tragic/fabulous.  You must see it to believe it.  And all of it open for business at 10:30 PM on a Sunday night, no less.  Listen baby, they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?  But the tax man will find you, I promise.  Those casinos don't get to keep doing what they do without making sure the fat man in the tax suit gets paid.

So all in all, it was a wonderful trip.  We had a great time, great food, great shopping...  but better than all of that?  We've been married a whole year!  And it's been the best year ever.  I love you, Buffalo.

Of(f) The Deep End By Wendy B.

Totally awesome, longtime, devoted reader and thoughtful commeter Wendy B. from Canada has begun her own intrepid blogging adventure entitled Of(f) The Deep End.  Her interests are jewelry (of course), jewelry making, calligraphy, Masters Swimming, calligraphy, and myriad other sundry fun things.  Including a cat who adores the V-E-T and an iguana.

Check her out!

A Little Macabre Diamond Humor For Wednesday

Joe died.

His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last guests departed the affair, his widow, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.  "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.  "How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen.  "Thirty thousand dollars."

"No!" Jody exclaimed.  "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Helen answered, "The funeral was $6,500.  I donated $500 to the church.  The wake, food and drinks were another $500.  The rest went for the memorial stone."

Jody computed quickly.  "$22,500 for a memorial stone?  My God, how big is it?!"

"Three and a half carats."

(p.s.  let's cross our fingers and hope that was $22,500 wholesale for three and a half carats, because $22,500 retail is going to buy you a seriously blah 3.5 carat stone)

(yeah, okay, it's an oldie but a goodie...  I'm mucho busy, on a lunch break...  it's all I've got right now!)

Happy Birthday, Trey!

Happy Birthday to the man behind the Bling Blog!

He is celebrating the 13th anniversary of his 29th birthday.  He's good-looking, no?  I am a lucky lady.

For his birthday he got a nifty watch and we went to see the classic car races.  About the watch:  originally, it was the only timepiece allowed on the moon.  He got it because he's so out of this world!  Any guesses as to which watch it might be?

Happy Birthday, Buffalo, I love you!

UPDATE!  JUST ADDED!  THIS JUST IN!

PHOTOS FROM A BUFFALO BIRTHDAY LONG, LONG AGO!

ROCKETS!  SPACESHIPS!

BIRTHDAY CAKES!  CANDLES!

PARTY HATS!

HOORAY!

LOOKS LIKE 1969 TO ME.

SO CUTE, HUH?

(THANKS, MA!)