THE BLING BLOG

Not To Beat A Dead Horse, But The Sordid Tale Of Elizabitch Hurley Gets Worse (Better?) Every Day

The UK's Daily Mail lives up to its reputation for finding the stinkiest stench in every story, God love 'em.  They have far nastier quotes than yesterday's firebrand shocker (not) article from Yahoo! News.  Hooray Daily Mail!

What is so much fun about the Daily Mail is that they feign writing an article in favor of Poor Liz Hurley And How Hurt And Surprised She Is By What Her Brand New Father-In-Law Has Said and then they turn around and eviscerate her with his quotes.  Hilarity!

Here are some choice tidbits, and enjoy the dénouement:

"She feels that what was the happiest day of her life has been tarnished and doesn’t understand how after everything she has done for them -raising their social standing in India through the roof, for example - they could do this.

"But quite frankly she is also a little bewildered by all of this and was totally unaware about the extent of their grievances. Liz feels she made every effort to be a part of their extended family and fit in.

"She doesn’t think that they have taken into consideration how much planning went into the wedding celebrations - she was under a lot of pressure and was very, very stressed, and perhaps they misinterpreted this for rudeness.

"Now, Liz has even offered to reimburse the Nayars if they feel they’re out of pocket and hopes that this will be the end of the matter.

"Yet as far as she is concerned, that is it - she never wants to see Arun’s father or step-mother again."

It is understood, meanwhile, that a letter written by Vinod to his son, informing him that he wished to "cut all ties", is still awaiting response.

Speaking alongside his second wife, Joanne, in the Mail on Sunday, the retired businessman claimed they were made to feel like ‘second-class citizens’ at the couple’s English wedding, at Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire, and their Hindu blessing at the Meherangarh Fort in Rajasthan last month.

Vinod says that he was snubbed by Miss Hurley throughout the week-long celebrations.

Contrary to Indian custom, he was barred from the wedding platform during the Hindu fire ceremony in which the head of the family is supposed to officially welcome the bride into the family.

When he tried to access the platform, he was apparently confronted by his youngest son Nikhil and a bout of "pushing and shoving" ensued. He was then bundled away.

It has also emerged that the couple offended Indian relatives after issuing guests with a bizarre set of do’s and don’ts, advising them to "bring bacterial wipes and not give money to beggars".

He also revealed that a £35,000 ruby and diamond necklace which he and his wife had had commissioned for Miss Hurley to wear in the Indian ceremony was snubbed.

Similarly, they felt obliged to cancel a £30,000 post-wedding party that they had arranged in honour of the newlyweds after falling out with Miss Hurley and Arun, 41.

Talking about the Rajasthan ceremony, he said: "I think this elaborate Indian event was Elizabeth’s theatrical dream. It was certainly not a serious attempt to honour our customs.

"In the end it was just nonsense. The magazine wanted a great show, so they could justify the big fee they were charged. I think it was blatant and cynical commercialism."

He accused his daughter-in-law of being fame-hungry and "desperate", adding: "I once thought Liz was a lovely, unspoiled woman, but now I see that she is a very hard person.

"It was important for her to get celebrity faces there. That’s what the Hello! deal was about. She was fulfilling her contractual obligation.

"I never realised how desperate she is for fame and attention. My wife and I were publicly humiliated and treated like social outcasts for the sake of a £2 million magazine deal."

Hooray Daily Mail!

She snubbed the party they planned for her and then simply offered to pay for it and hoped that would make everything okay?  Huh?!  The Nayars/Nayers probably didn't have the kind of flatware that would photograph well enough for Hello.  Either that, or by that time everyone had run out bacterial wipes and fled the country on private jets.

Not wearing the jewelry they gave her?  Ouch.  The missus looks like she has some lovely (and expensive) traditional trinkets in the photo there.  Why be such a shrill bitch?

And the whole bit about shoving her father-in-law, the head of the family, off of the platform/stage thingy during the marriage ceremony?  Yikes!  Just unforgiveable.  And orchestrated by a younger brother no less?

This is going to be a huge mess with Elizabitch in the middle of it.  What does she think this is?  The second coming of the John Company and she's HRH Elizabeth I?  Take a history lesson, sister, the sun does set on the British Empire and has for a long, long time.

And to think I was hoping she could help me "raise (my) social standing...  through the roof."

What an insufferable, useless, self-serving bitch.  What a horror she is.  The best thing she could do would be to take that £2 million she got from selling her wedding photos to Hello! and give it to India's orphanages or to one of Mother Teresa's charities.  Something directly, charitably related to India.  But she won't.  She's a greedy snag.

Some sort of well-designed PR move is in order right about now.  I think her idea of a good PR move is to stand her ground and look for jobs being an anti-bacterial ad campaign pitch-bitch.  Can you see it?  With that faux-posh accent and everything?  "When I am forced to go to India, I wear a face mask when I shower and I roll around naked on sheets fashioned of Boots' anti-bacterial wipes.  It's heavenly!"

Go back to the carnival with the rest of the carnies, beyotch.  The only difference between you and the rest of the carnies is that some of them actually have something called talent.

(photo from the Daily Mail UK)

In Spite Of Mr. Singh's Assertion That Liz Loves India And India Loves Liz, Evidently ALL Of India Doesn't Love Liz Hurley - Gasp... What A SHOCKER!

It is with a heavy heart that I feel that I must inform all of you and most especially silver-tongued (penned?) prose writer, romantical suitor, and sweet snookums emailer Mr. Amar Singh that his pretty, pretty princess bride and her handsome groom are perhaps not the picture of grace and decorum who adore India that he once thought them to be.

It seems that Arun Nayar/Nayer (sigh, there are differing spellings and I am confused so I will offer both) and his new bride Elizardbreath Hurley have "humiliated" Nayar/Nayer's own parents in their own country.

To the degree that they are now actually speaking publicly and vehemently about it.  They have decided to cut all ties with their own flesh and blood.  And have made a bold but very sad public announcement.

Snap!  Mr. Singh...  I think that sort of changes things, doesn't it?

Here's Vinod Nayar/Nayer, father of Arun Nayar/Nayer, mind-bogglingly wealthy retired textile magnate, who has no reason to feel like anything other than a proud, accomplished gentleman, speaking about his son and Slizzard Hurley:

Vinod Nayer told the Sunday Mirror from Mumbai that he and his wife Joanne felt "publicly humiliated" and treated "like social outcasts" at the event, which took place in Britain and India last month.

"Liz and Arun have treated us very shabbily. My heart is heavy with pain," the newspaper quoted him as saying.

Nayer senior, a textile magnate, claims that the couple seemed to disrespect Indian relatives and did not act with consideration towards him and his wife.

"We were pushed into the background like poor relations. This has broken my heart," the 66-year-old added.

Guests at the wedding celebrations included singer Sir Elton John and supermodel Elle Macpherson.

"I have decided to cut all ties with my sons...I feel that Liz and Arun behaved shamefully and placed more importance on showing off than their own family," Nayer senior added.

He said that he had not spoken to his son since the wedding and had sent him a letter accusing him of having "disregarded me like one of your office boys."

"You have shown disrespect to me and my family, plus my dear friends who have been with me since your birth," the letter reportedly said.

Has everyone heard enough?  I have.  This is absolutely tragic.  This is a very, very wealthy man who has been at the top of his industry in India.  And his crap-ass son and his rotten-ass daughter-in-law managed to embarrass him and his wife and their oldest friends with their garish, cretinous, over-the-top, attention-getting shenanigans.  Parents are to be honored.  Period.  Unless they've done unforgivable things, in which case they should not be present.  Not shoved in the corner in favor of celebrities.

Oh, but that's right, we're talking about people for whom their rarefied world has a whole different set of rules in which everyone else is supposed to align themselves and play along in the slim hope of getting a ticket to the big tent.  Well there's a special, very warm corner in Hell for people like this.  Or maybe Ganesh will take a dump on their doorstep.

Charming.  Not surprising, though.  But still so, so tragic.

Case closed, people.  Case closed.

Unless, of course, Singh wants to continue our email romance and send me another liver-lipped missive about how ugly I am and what a stupid ho I am and how wonderful Liz is and how much she loves India and how much India loves her, in which case he knows where I'll post it.  P.S.  Singh, I have your I.P. address.

(photo from Yahoo.com)

Apparently, I Am Jealous Of Liz Hurley

I seem to have incurred the wrath of one Liz Hurley lover.  Please click on the screen grab so that you, too, may enjoy the musings of Mr. Amar Singh.

Some highlights:  "stupid ho you're just nasty," "stupid looking people like you," "you must be jealous you ugly bitch lol," and "your (sic) just plain sad."

Actually, I think I am kind of sad.  Because I really would like to meet a man of such discerning taste as Mr. Singh one day, and I am afraid that being a "stupid ho" will prevent that.

Lizard Hurley Shows Some Restraint

Okay, not really.

But according to today's JCKStyle, Elizabeth Hurley was adorned in elaborate and beautiful henna tattoos as part of her traditional Hindu wedding garb and ceremony last week in India.  The rest of her get-up, however, was a bit more pricey and included,

"a diamond-encrusted sari worth $7,700, earrings worth $53,000, and a bracelet valued at $26,000.  Nayar's jeweled coat and turban set the couple back $6,600.  At least sensible Hurley didn't waste funds on fleeting pleasures:  her henna hand tattoos cost just $5."

As we've previously discussed, I doubt they paid for any of the jewelry as it was likely gifted or loaned to them by Chopard or another entity.  No news, however, what these jewels were or what jeweler created them.  It strikes me as odd that Nayar would not take advantage of some of the wonderfully exotic and beautiful jewels crafted in his native country.

I'll wait and see until I can gander at some photos before passing judgment on this one.  After all, she was wearing a sari and saris can be gorgeous.  I'm dying to see what this one looked like.  Would it kill her to wear some rubies and 22K for one day?  I mean, you're in India after all.

Elizabeth Hurley Finally Gets A Ring

So, uh, that lucky dog Arun Nayar got married to Elizabeth Hurley last week in England and again this week in India.

And what lovely events they turned out to be; so lovely in fact that even Hugh Grant who had nothing better to do since splitting up with Jemima Khan didn't show up.  The fact that Hughie didn't show up was almost as newsworthy as the wedding itself.  Heh.  (Go Hugh!)

Now, what was I talking about...  Oh!

Here's the ring, finally.  Remember when we last spoke about her she didn't have an engagment ring yet, was allergic to her intended's entire country and wasn't washing her hands?

Well, she's got one now and it's real purty.

It's a 15.09-carat Asscher-cut diamond set in white gold with a pavé band.  According to British Vogue the ring,

"...was bought by the couple from the "Haute Joallerie" collection at Chopard's Bond Street store. Elizabeth's close friend Caroline Gruosi-Scheufele, who is also the creative director and co-president of Chopard, designed the engagement ring especially for the occasion. The jewellers also created the bride's wedding band - 20 square-cut 3.91 carat diamonds also set in white gold."

Okay.  Two things.

1. Bought by the couple from Chopard?  No.  I think not.  Liz Hurley is a hired shill for Chopard.  She is forever seen wearing Chopard everything.  Earrings, watches, necklaces, rings.  Tiaras.  Especially tiaras if she can get her mitts on them.

2. Twenty square-cut 3.91-carat diamonds set in white gold for a wedding band?  Must be a typo.  Her finger would have to be the girth of my wrist to handle twenty nearly 4-carat diamonds in band form.  I think that's 3.91 carats total carat weight.

I hope you're all as thrilled as I am that this affair gave her the opportunity to dress up like a "pretty, pretty princess" (thank you, Bingley) and have many, many wardrobe changes over the course of eight or ten days.

As well it allowed her to drag her already spooky-looking-and-not-ironically-named-Damian kid, expose him to more flashbulbs all, I suppose, in the name of family.

Ugh, poor kid... with a mother like that and an absent sperm-donor priapistic billionaire for a father?

And now a new stepfather who says their life on the farm in Gloucestershire is rather idyllic:

"I'll take Damian out on the tractor while Elizabeth cooks.  It's a bit like the Waltons."

Right...  Just like that.  Can you hear it now?  I can.

Damian:  G'night Mummy.

Elizabeast:  Damian, have you seen Mummy's ring?

Damian:  Oh, no, Mummy.  What ring?

Elizabitch:  Mummy's shiny, shiny ring from her wedding.

Damian:  The ring you wore at the wedding that lasted for six thousand ten million months and years?

Elizzardbreath:  Yes, Damian, sweet Little Lord Fauntleroy, that one, where Mummy wore the tiara on nights 1, 2, 4, 5 and 7.

Damian:  The big knuckle-buster ring you wore at the wedding where they sacrificed the goat and Shilpa Shetty danced until she puked and some weird ladies painted me with mustard paste and Uncle Hugh didn't come because he has some sense?

Eslatternly:  Yeeeeees, that one.  Have you seen my pretty, pretty ring?

Damian:  Uhhh...  nope.  And neither has Paddington.

(photo from British Vogue)

Elizabeth Hurley Not Only Hurls And Hates India, But Doesn't Wash Her Hands Or Have Engagement Ring

Elizabeth Hurley, celebrity shill for Chopard and many others, is currently engaged to this poor bastard, Bombay businessman and cricket player Arun Nayar even though the water and food in India make her violently ill.  Sounds like a match made in heaven!

In preparation for her wedding, at which she sincerely hopes no pesky non-celebrities attend, lest they bother her and stare at her, she is, um, taking damn elephant-riding lessons.

Elephant-riding lessons?  Why?  The Insufferable One is taking elephant-riding lessons so she won't risk looking "inelegant" when she makes her grand entrance at her wedding on a damn elephant.  Elephant.  Oliphant.  Elefante.  Heffalump.  Dumbo.  Big guy.  Hard to miss.

On the largest land mammal.  So everyone can indeed stare at her after all.  Is it okay if celebrities stare at you, then, Liz?  I see.

Further, Elizabitch apparently has no engagement ring, which probably makes it easier for her justify not washing her mitts at parties.

God, she is a pain in the ass, isn't she?  Talk about inelegant.  Look at her in that Chopard tiara in that photo, arms akimbo.  Eek.  She's so...  ick.

He's all, "Where's a cute, young, impressionable Bollywood princess when I need her?  I'm sure she wouldn't complain about the kebabs or get sick."

(photo from Chopard)

Elizabeth Hurley Says That Civilians Are Exhausting. The Poor, Poor Dear.

Elizabeth Hurley, whose only apparent talents are shagging the right rising star, then getting herself knocked-up by a priapistic billionaire playboy and ingratiating herself inextricably and lucratively to Esteé Lauder, Versace, Elton John, and Chopard, has made a charming statement regarding the exhausting nature of non-celebrities:

"All I know is, I want my wedding to be a very, very private affair.  I don't want anything to take place in public where it feels like a movie premiere."

It's very interesting that she would not want her wedding to feel like a movie premiere, since she can evidently only befriend fellow celebrities because in her very own words,

"In the end, famous people only ever end up hanging out with other famous people or in private places because it's just too exhausting to be stared at and bothered the whole time."

Boo hoo.

What I find particularly exhausting is Chopard's love affair with this insufferable bitch.

Can't they find someone nicer who can keep her big mouth shut and simply smile pretty for the camera?

I would totally keep my yap screwed up tight if it meant I got to wear those Chopard earrings and pendant.  I could probably even do it for a whole six hours, the average length of a movie premiere and after-party.  And I'm not even that nice.  Just less imbued with a misguided sense of entitlement and generally known to live amongst the little people and fit in quite comfortably.