In one of the most highly-anticipated (no, wait... this was only announced a few days ago, so perhaps not so very highly anticipated after all) celebrity weddings of year, Pamela Anderson Lee Anderson Lee Anderson married Robert "Nuclear White Detroit Trailer Trash Wigga Kid Rock" Ritchie aboard a yacht in the harbor near St. Tropez.
Trés romantique!
It was the fourteenth marriage for Anderson Lee Anderson Lee Anderson who has two sons and Hep C by her first, second, third and fourth through fourteenth husband who is, remarkably, the same person, the slimy Tommy Lee, former drummer for 80s hair metal band Mötley Crüe.
Ritchie, aka "Kid Rock," though never previously married, has sired hundreds of children in the Detroit area. On the surface, this may seem irresponsible. One might expect a man of his stature to frequent gentlemen's clubs and therein spread his seed, however, he has been surprisingly selective, choosing to impregnate women employed by GM and other auto manufacturers. Therefore, many of Kid's spawn are beneficiaries of the UAW's generous healthcare policies. And we wonder why the American auto industry is in the crapper?
Moving on.
Celeb-luminaries in attendance included Tamara Mellon, CEO of Jimmy Choo, the London-based shoemaker, who was quoted saying about Anderson Lee Anderson Lee Anderson Rock,
"She was the most beautiful bride I've ever seen, like a modern-day Brigitte Bardot."
Mellon, who was dating (read: copulating) Kid Rock only months ago is very obviously due for a tune-up on her meds and should see an ophthalmologist for degenerative myopia immediately.
When asked what their plans were, Ms. Anderson Lee Anderson Lee Anderson Rock simply giggled sweetly and bounced over to the (I'm sure it was PETA-approved) caviar-filled 24K bathtub where she would be photographed by celebrity lensman Dave LaChappelle who doubled as her maid of honor.
Mr. Rock responded with a rousing rendition of his timeless ballad, "Cowboy,"
Well I'm packing up my game and I'm a head out west
Where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts
Find a nest in the hills chill like Flynt
Buy an old drop top find a spot to pimp
And I'm a Kid Rock it up and down your block
With a bottle of Scotch and watch lots of crotch
Buy yacht with a flag sayin' chillin the most
Then rock that bitch up and down the coast
Give a toast to the sun, drink with the stars
Get thrown in the mix and tossed out of bars
Then to Tijuana... I wanna roam
Find Motown and tell them fools to come back home
Start an escort service, for all the right reasons
And set up shop at the top of Four Seasons
Kid Rock and I'm the real McCoy
And I'm headin' out west sucker... because I wanna be a
Cowboy baby
It's sort of prophetic, isn't it?
(photo from DListed - enlarge to see the ring - sort of blurry, but it's a big one)
Do you think it is simply a coincidence that the ring looks to be either unbalanced or too big for her?
Posted by: Wendy | July 30, 2006 at 12:33 PM
A coincidence with, say, her unbalanced and too big mammaries?
Yeah, that ring is a big one, no doubt. And it's rolling over on her finger. Does it look like a yellow gold/canary diamond combination to you?
Posted by: Susanna | July 30, 2006 at 12:47 PM
Well done. He is quite fetching in a bermuda short, no? If you were to peruse a shelter in New York, you would easily find a match for him.
Posted by: kim | July 30, 2006 at 06:29 PM
That would be exactly the coincidence I was alluding to! And yes, it does look to be be yellow gold with a fancy colour -- at least it is not a treated dandelion yellow.
Posted by: Wendy | July 31, 2006 at 05:48 AM
Anderson Lee Anderson Lee Anderson. That's brilliant.
I love how when this was first announced (haven't she and Rock broken up, re-united, broken up, re-united several times themselves?) Anderson Lee Anderson Lee Anderson said something about how it was impulsive but nonetheless very well thought through. Like all of those moments in life where you've agonized for seconds over a spur of the moment decision.
Forthcoming sex tape accidentally "stolen" along with a 20,000 lb safe with no contents worth reporting the theft to the police from the Anderson Lee Rock home in 4...3...2...
Posted by: Emily | July 31, 2006 at 09:33 AM