THE BLING BLOG

Not To Beat A Dead Horse, But The Sordid Tale Of Elizabitch Hurley Gets Worse (Better?) Every Day

The UK's Daily Mail lives up to its reputation for finding the stinkiest stench in every story, God love 'em.  They have far nastier quotes than yesterday's firebrand shocker (not) article from Yahoo! News.  Hooray Daily Mail!

What is so much fun about the Daily Mail is that they feign writing an article in favor of Poor Liz Hurley And How Hurt And Surprised She Is By What Her Brand New Father-In-Law Has Said and then they turn around and eviscerate her with his quotes.  Hilarity!

Here are some choice tidbits, and enjoy the dénouement:

"She feels that what was the happiest day of her life has been tarnished and doesn’t understand how after everything she has done for them -raising their social standing in India through the roof, for example - they could do this.

"But quite frankly she is also a little bewildered by all of this and was totally unaware about the extent of their grievances. Liz feels she made every effort to be a part of their extended family and fit in.

"She doesn’t think that they have taken into consideration how much planning went into the wedding celebrations - she was under a lot of pressure and was very, very stressed, and perhaps they misinterpreted this for rudeness.

"Now, Liz has even offered to reimburse the Nayars if they feel they’re out of pocket and hopes that this will be the end of the matter.

"Yet as far as she is concerned, that is it - she never wants to see Arun’s father or step-mother again."

It is understood, meanwhile, that a letter written by Vinod to his son, informing him that he wished to "cut all ties", is still awaiting response.

Speaking alongside his second wife, Joanne, in the Mail on Sunday, the retired businessman claimed they were made to feel like ‘second-class citizens’ at the couple’s English wedding, at Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire, and their Hindu blessing at the Meherangarh Fort in Rajasthan last month.

Vinod says that he was snubbed by Miss Hurley throughout the week-long celebrations.

Contrary to Indian custom, he was barred from the wedding platform during the Hindu fire ceremony in which the head of the family is supposed to officially welcome the bride into the family.

When he tried to access the platform, he was apparently confronted by his youngest son Nikhil and a bout of "pushing and shoving" ensued. He was then bundled away.

It has also emerged that the couple offended Indian relatives after issuing guests with a bizarre set of do’s and don’ts, advising them to "bring bacterial wipes and not give money to beggars".

He also revealed that a £35,000 ruby and diamond necklace which he and his wife had had commissioned for Miss Hurley to wear in the Indian ceremony was snubbed.

Similarly, they felt obliged to cancel a £30,000 post-wedding party that they had arranged in honour of the newlyweds after falling out with Miss Hurley and Arun, 41.

Talking about the Rajasthan ceremony, he said: "I think this elaborate Indian event was Elizabeth’s theatrical dream. It was certainly not a serious attempt to honour our customs.

"In the end it was just nonsense. The magazine wanted a great show, so they could justify the big fee they were charged. I think it was blatant and cynical commercialism."

He accused his daughter-in-law of being fame-hungry and "desperate", adding: "I once thought Liz was a lovely, unspoiled woman, but now I see that she is a very hard person.

"It was important for her to get celebrity faces there. That’s what the Hello! deal was about. She was fulfilling her contractual obligation.

"I never realised how desperate she is for fame and attention. My wife and I were publicly humiliated and treated like social outcasts for the sake of a £2 million magazine deal."

Hooray Daily Mail!

She snubbed the party they planned for her and then simply offered to pay for it and hoped that would make everything okay?  Huh?!  The Nayars/Nayers probably didn't have the kind of flatware that would photograph well enough for Hello.  Either that, or by that time everyone had run out bacterial wipes and fled the country on private jets.

Not wearing the jewelry they gave her?  Ouch.  The missus looks like she has some lovely (and expensive) traditional trinkets in the photo there.  Why be such a shrill bitch?

And the whole bit about shoving her father-in-law, the head of the family, off of the platform/stage thingy during the marriage ceremony?  Yikes!  Just unforgiveable.  And orchestrated by a younger brother no less?

This is going to be a huge mess with Elizabitch in the middle of it.  What does she think this is?  The second coming of the John Company and she's HRH Elizabeth I?  Take a history lesson, sister, the sun does set on the British Empire and has for a long, long time.

And to think I was hoping she could help me "raise (my) social standing...  through the roof."

What an insufferable, useless, self-serving bitch.  What a horror she is.  The best thing she could do would be to take that £2 million she got from selling her wedding photos to Hello! and give it to India's orphanages or to one of Mother Teresa's charities.  Something directly, charitably related to India.  But she won't.  She's a greedy snag.

Some sort of well-designed PR move is in order right about now.  I think her idea of a good PR move is to stand her ground and look for jobs being an anti-bacterial ad campaign pitch-bitch.  Can you see it?  With that faux-posh accent and everything?  "When I am forced to go to India, I wear a face mask when I shower and I roll around naked on sheets fashioned of Boots' anti-bacterial wipes.  It's heavenly!"

Go back to the carnival with the rest of the carnies, beyotch.  The only difference between you and the rest of the carnies is that some of them actually have something called talent.

(photo from the Daily Mail UK)

In Spite Of Mr. Singh's Assertion That Liz Loves India And India Loves Liz, Evidently ALL Of India Doesn't Love Liz Hurley - Gasp... What A SHOCKER!

It is with a heavy heart that I feel that I must inform all of you and most especially silver-tongued (penned?) prose writer, romantical suitor, and sweet snookums emailer Mr. Amar Singh that his pretty, pretty princess bride and her handsome groom are perhaps not the picture of grace and decorum who adore India that he once thought them to be.

It seems that Arun Nayar/Nayer (sigh, there are differing spellings and I am confused so I will offer both) and his new bride Elizardbreath Hurley have "humiliated" Nayar/Nayer's own parents in their own country.

To the degree that they are now actually speaking publicly and vehemently about it.  They have decided to cut all ties with their own flesh and blood.  And have made a bold but very sad public announcement.

Snap!  Mr. Singh...  I think that sort of changes things, doesn't it?

Here's Vinod Nayar/Nayer, father of Arun Nayar/Nayer, mind-bogglingly wealthy retired textile magnate, who has no reason to feel like anything other than a proud, accomplished gentleman, speaking about his son and Slizzard Hurley:

Vinod Nayer told the Sunday Mirror from Mumbai that he and his wife Joanne felt "publicly humiliated" and treated "like social outcasts" at the event, which took place in Britain and India last month.

"Liz and Arun have treated us very shabbily. My heart is heavy with pain," the newspaper quoted him as saying.

Nayer senior, a textile magnate, claims that the couple seemed to disrespect Indian relatives and did not act with consideration towards him and his wife.

"We were pushed into the background like poor relations. This has broken my heart," the 66-year-old added.

Guests at the wedding celebrations included singer Sir Elton John and supermodel Elle Macpherson.

"I have decided to cut all ties with my sons...I feel that Liz and Arun behaved shamefully and placed more importance on showing off than their own family," Nayer senior added.

He said that he had not spoken to his son since the wedding and had sent him a letter accusing him of having "disregarded me like one of your office boys."

"You have shown disrespect to me and my family, plus my dear friends who have been with me since your birth," the letter reportedly said.

Has everyone heard enough?  I have.  This is absolutely tragic.  This is a very, very wealthy man who has been at the top of his industry in India.  And his crap-ass son and his rotten-ass daughter-in-law managed to embarrass him and his wife and their oldest friends with their garish, cretinous, over-the-top, attention-getting shenanigans.  Parents are to be honored.  Period.  Unless they've done unforgivable things, in which case they should not be present.  Not shoved in the corner in favor of celebrities.

Oh, but that's right, we're talking about people for whom their rarefied world has a whole different set of rules in which everyone else is supposed to align themselves and play along in the slim hope of getting a ticket to the big tent.  Well there's a special, very warm corner in Hell for people like this.  Or maybe Ganesh will take a dump on their doorstep.

Charming.  Not surprising, though.  But still so, so tragic.

Case closed, people.  Case closed.

Unless, of course, Singh wants to continue our email romance and send me another liver-lipped missive about how ugly I am and what a stupid ho I am and how wonderful Liz is and how much she loves India and how much India loves her, in which case he knows where I'll post it.  P.S.  Singh, I have your I.P. address.

(photo from Yahoo.com)

Apparently, I Am Jealous Of Liz Hurley

I seem to have incurred the wrath of one Liz Hurley lover.  Please click on the screen grab so that you, too, may enjoy the musings of Mr. Amar Singh.

Some highlights:  "stupid ho you're just nasty," "stupid looking people like you," "you must be jealous you ugly bitch lol," and "your (sic) just plain sad."

Actually, I think I am kind of sad.  Because I really would like to meet a man of such discerning taste as Mr. Singh one day, and I am afraid that being a "stupid ho" will prevent that.

Has Tacori Jumped The Proverbial Shark Tank By Getting In Bed With QVC Or Is It Just Good Business?

I am a loyal reader of the newish JCK Online blog called Behind The Counter, and in particular a big fan of writer Shanu Singh Guliani's ability to bring forth simple, yet thoughtful topics.  The blog is intended for consumption by those in the trade, but the subjects are disclosed in a manner such that anyone with a passing interest can understand and digest the information readily and also participate.

A couple of weeks ago she introduced a topic that I really believe has legs, and I wanted to wait to see how the comments would flesh out.  As expected, respondents are nearly evenly divided.  In her article Tacori: Are They Turning Their Backs On Independents? Shanu discusses how a little over a month ago, Tacori, an historically esteemed Los Angeles-based jeweler known for their intricate design work with platinum and diamonds, and perhaps equally known for their celebrity relationships and ability to cater to those with very deep pockets jumped into the sack with QVC.  Some thought it shocking and peculiar, but the more questions I ask, the more sighing and eye-rolling I encounter.  Take from that what you will.

This alliance brought Tacori's design elements together with QVC's "Platinum Clad" (sterling silver) and "Diamonique" (simulated gemstones) ostensibly to make Tacori affordable to the masses.  The result was a phenomenal success for both QVC and Tacori, having sold out of all of their merchandise in only 18 minutes.

I mean, Christ on a crouton, that's on par with ticket sell-out rates for the Rolling Stones.

Shanu asks some valid questions of store owners and salespeople,

It’s about a month later—how do you feel?  Do you dread the customer that comes in and says, “I bought my Tacori Ring off of QVC,” while standing next to another customer who has a $3000 Tacori ring on her hand debating if the brand is suddenly the right engagement ring to have, to bind her and her future husband’s eternal love.

Do you keep the line?  Send it back?  Never reorder again?  Or are you celebrating with Tacori?  Are you happy that now more of your clients know about the brand…  the name Tacori?  Or do you stash it in the back of the showroom hoping to pull customers to the side to take a look at this high-end brand that now sells on QVC?  On the other hand, who cares…  I’m a great salesperson, I have a great store, I love my customers and that’s the bottom line.

As I mentioned, the responses were nearly evenly divided.  Some jewelers are thrilled; some are disgusted.  One is saddened they'll have to part ways and terminate their relationship with Tacori.  One respondent was a civilian (non-jewelry industry type) whose wife's $9000 Tacori wedding ring set had been stolen and his insurance was only giving them a $1000 replacement and he was thrilled to have this option in the interim.  (That was actually very sad to read.  Bet he buys better insurance next time.  He said Tacori/QVC were super nice, accommodating and professional in getting him on the waitlist (!) for a QVC set (!) for his wife.)

Here's the thing.  Brands do this all the time.  Look at, say, Isaac Mizrahi.  He has three (four?) lines.  You can buy an Isaac Mizrahi shirt for $295 from Saks Fifth Avenue, one from Nordstorm Rack for $49 and one from Target for $19.99.  And shoes!  All at different price points.  Burberry carries different lines, too.  Ralph Lipschitz Lauren - my God, he has about eight or nine women's clothing lines.  There's a difference between, say, the RL polo shirt and the Polo polo shirt.  This is nothing new.

Does this dilute the brand?  Maybe, maybe not.  We could discuss this ad infinitum and never reach an agreement.  The only way designers make money is by diversifying and selling other stuff besides clothing, anyhow.  They must brand, as in a verb, themselves.  Perfume, baby!

My question for you is this:  would you have a problem if you had a $10,000 Tacori ring set and you were channel-surfing one night and saw "Tacori for Epiphany" being advertised on QVC and curiosity got the best of you and you discovered your exact treasured set (minus the precious materials) being sold for under $200, including shipping and tax?  And from all reports, the QVC stuff simply isn't garbage, much as we'd like for it to be.  It just isn't.  It's well-made enough stuff for what it is.  As long as you know what it is.

But let's be honest, girl to girl.  You can't tell me this wouldn't get your goat just a little bit.  Get stuck in your craw?  But you would shake it off like a big girl, right?  Right?  Just don't let your husband see that QVC show.  Ever! 

You, however, may go shop at QVC.com and search for Tacori in jewelry and find a suitable travel bauble or two or perhaps a set for your next foray into Darkest Peru or wherever your peripatetic muse takes you.  Hell, just get something because you like the look of it...  $70 won't break the bank and if you don't like it when you see it on your mitt or your neck or your lobes, they have a liberal return policy.

Plus, you're fantastic.  No one will know it's paste.  Quite honestly, mixing these simulated pieces with your own genuine ones isn't a grand faux pas.  In fact it's done more often than you'd think.  Buying some for travel pieces is a superb idea.  If you are a woman who carries herself with elegance and good carriage, who is going to question the authenticity your jewelry selections?  Certainly no one else of proper elegance and carriage.

A few caveats to keeping your secret...  if you happen to run into me or my mother we might corner you and ask you about your jewelry.  We've been known to do that.  Not to verify authenticity or question your selection, of course not, but to admire and examine them more closely.  We'll keep your secret.  As well, avoid flashing these in fine jewelry stores and trying to pass them off as the real deal.  Stay out of those places.  And finally, don't take them off and hand them to anyone.  That's a dead giveaway.  That silver weighs far less than platinum.

My personal recommendation?  WWBBB?  What Would Bling Blog Buy?  I'd buy these three and stack them in this order.  The blue one comes in red, too.  Big look, small price.  And I'd keep them very clean.

(photos from QVC)

Is There Even A Category For This In The World Record Books? There Is Now, Apparently.

In case you woke up this morning with any question in your mind or heart whether or not crunk was still alive, have no fear, Lil' Jon thinks it is.  He is so utterly convinced that Crunk Ain't Dead, he has had this inspiring dictum emblazoned upon the World's Largest Freaking Diamond Pendant.  Oh, hell yeah, boyeeeeeee, the Dirty South shall rise again with Lil' Jon leading the charge.

This masterpiece was created by Jason of Beverly Hills.  Insiders at Rap Basement note that the $500,000 pendant is 7.5 inches tall, six inches wide, one inch thick, and weighs over five pounds.  It has 3,756 white diamonds totalling 73 carats, all set in 18-karat white and yellow gold.  Can you say "herniated C4 disc" if that bizzatch was made in platinum?

To the window...  to the wall...  Please don't ask me how I know about that song.  Or how it ended up in my car's CD changer.

(photo from JCK Online)

Statement Rings: Are You Going To Make A Statement Or Just Hush Up?

The latest Neiman Marcus "book" hath arrived in all of its metallic silver and turquoise splendor to my mailbox.  Amidst the above-the-knee hemlines and long dresses and short tube dresses and trapeze dresses (so confused, so confused, head huuuuurts) there are the so-called "Statement Rings."

The "Statement Rings" are big knuckle-busters that, well, make a big, um, statement.  They're sort of this year's version of last year's cocktail ring.  Which was last year's version of the previous year's brightly-colored bubble gum machine ring.  Which was that year's version of...  you get the idea.

Some are beautiful, some are so-so, and some are downright awful.  Some of them play that mark-up game wherein they are priced at such a ridiculously inflated price point because you would not otherwise purchase them.  You know the ones?  If you saw them priced for what they're worth you'd think something was terribly wrong?  Right.  So take a look at the good, the bad, and the very, very awful.  And some nice surprises, too.

At left is a Stephen Dweck cushion-cut green agate ring set in polished bronze.  It's offered in sizes 6 or 7.

I picked it because it's green and I like green.

It's available for $330.

WTF?!

Agate and bronze for $330?!  Why is it $330?  Well, because you wouldn't pay $30 for it, would you, now?  And not at Neiman Marcus.  That's why.

Moving right along.  While it's no secret that I am not a huge fan of David Yurman, he has this "statement" thing down to a science and this one is damn near the pick of the litter.  In fact, you could take almost any of the Yurman puppies home and not kick your own ass, which is more than I can say for something I am going to show you later on.

This piece is sterling silver and 18K white gold with a big amethyst and .41 carats of pavé diamonds for $1325.  P.S.  Most of the $1325 is in those diamonds and the gold.  Amethysts, while large and colorful are cheap.  Particularly ones that are light purple like this one.  Still, it's quite a pretty ring and way more bang for the comparative buck than the Dweck.

More nicely-executed Yurman.  Color me shocked.  But in this dubious company of rings Yurman is the standout winner.

These are cable-shanked oval rings in either citrine or smoky quartz with rhodolite garnet, garnet and diamond accents set in sterling silver and 18 karat yellow gold.

The citrine is $1650 and the smoky quartz is $1450.

Again, the money is in the gold and diamonds for the most part.  You can spend money on citrine, but it's gotta be Madeira or similar.  That one is simply large.

And now, for something completely different.

This is called the Palu Saddle ring from John Hardy for $750.

It is made in Bali, and fashioned of woven sterling silver and hammered 22-karat gold.

To me, this one is unusual and different, yet recognizable at the same time.  Hardy lovers will feel comfortable with the woven silver and the silver and gold combination.  Newcomers to Hardy will like the hammered high-karat gold.  It's not what is expected and it's chunky, but also graceful.

Ah, yes.  Hello, Shitty Kitty.

The only "statements" that this $4,250 "imported" (read: CHINA) ring makes are:

1.  I like kitschy, krappy kitties.

2.  Someone best hide the credit cards from me.

3.  I want to buy Kimora Lee Simmons a new gold toilet.  Because everyone needs a gold-plated throne.  Eek.

(all photos from Neiman Marcus)

A Platinum And Diamond Palliative From Daniel K

If you were a dipsomaniacal dimwit on St. Patrick's Day, or had to suffer the fools ungladly, I hope this clover pendant from Daniel K serves to calm your jittery soul.  It does mine.

It's my way of apologizing for that photo of what'shisgreasybutt earlier.  Sorry.

What do you think?  I kind of love it.  Daniel K makes wonderful use of today's ubiquitous, yet elegant, Asscher-cut diamond in their pieces.  Go check out the site.  I have some favorites.  Let's discuss.

(photo from Daniel K via the Platinum Guild International)

This Might Give You A Hang O'Ver If You Don't Already Have One From Yesterday's Shenanigans

Ew, ick.

That's Colin Farrell wearing a platinum and diamond pavé clover pendant made by the design firm of QuiénSabe or WhoKnowsWho?  It's moderately pretty, but the photo is terribly low-res.  It was sent to me by a PR firm in LA, however they failed to attribute either the photo or the jewelry.  This happens a lot.

He looks like he has the greasy sweats in every single photo he takes, doesn't he?  If that picture doesn't put you off your lunch, what will?  Would someone please remind me why this person is a movie star?

Happy St. Patty O'Furniture Day!

A curious convergence of evil combined with the luck o' the Irish (it's always the luck o' the Irish, no?) had St. Patrick's Day fall on a Saturday, thus rendering the roadways unsafe for driving after about 9:30 AM unless you happen to have an M1 Abrams in your garage.

So Wendy B. has kindly provided us with a fantastic eye-clean 12.47 oval step-cut light green tsavorite upon which to turn our collective attention.

Lizard Hurley Shows Some Restraint

Okay, not really.

But according to today's JCKStyle, Elizabeth Hurley was adorned in elaborate and beautiful henna tattoos as part of her traditional Hindu wedding garb and ceremony last week in India.  The rest of her get-up, however, was a bit more pricey and included,

"a diamond-encrusted sari worth $7,700, earrings worth $53,000, and a bracelet valued at $26,000.  Nayar's jeweled coat and turban set the couple back $6,600.  At least sensible Hurley didn't waste funds on fleeting pleasures:  her henna hand tattoos cost just $5."

As we've previously discussed, I doubt they paid for any of the jewelry as it was likely gifted or loaned to them by Chopard or another entity.  No news, however, what these jewels were or what jeweler created them.  It strikes me as odd that Nayar would not take advantage of some of the wonderfully exotic and beautiful jewels crafted in his native country.

I'll wait and see until I can gander at some photos before passing judgment on this one.  After all, she was wearing a sari and saris can be gorgeous.  I'm dying to see what this one looked like.  Would it kill her to wear some rubies and 22K for one day?  I mean, you're in India after all.

Kathy Hilton Wears And Returns $1 Million Jacket, Still Has Paris & Nicky

Kathy Avanzino Hilton, house painter's daughter, mother of trainwrecks Paris and Nicky and unflappable bicoastal Cleopatra was shimmering in a $1 million platinum and diamond jacket as she was honored for her good works at "The Women's Project" soiree in New York on March 12th.

Mrs. Hilton's jacket had two pounds of platinum and 300 carats of diamonds adorning it.  The diamonds were from the venerable Lazare Kaplan diamond cutters, the creators of The Original Ideal Cut Diamond™.

Sadly, the jacket was a loaner.  Now, if only there were such a liberal return policy on people...  Noooo, she loooooves her darlings, yes she does!

(photo courtesy of the Platinum Guild International)

Elizabeth Hurley Finally Gets A Ring

So, uh, that lucky dog Arun Nayar got married to Elizabeth Hurley last week in England and again this week in India.

And what lovely events they turned out to be; so lovely in fact that even Hugh Grant who had nothing better to do since splitting up with Jemima Khan didn't show up.  The fact that Hughie didn't show up was almost as newsworthy as the wedding itself.  Heh.  (Go Hugh!)

Now, what was I talking about...  Oh!

Here's the ring, finally.  Remember when we last spoke about her she didn't have an engagment ring yet, was allergic to her intended's entire country and wasn't washing her hands?

Well, she's got one now and it's real purty.

It's a 15.09-carat Asscher-cut diamond set in white gold with a pavé band.  According to British Vogue the ring,

"...was bought by the couple from the "Haute Joallerie" collection at Chopard's Bond Street store. Elizabeth's close friend Caroline Gruosi-Scheufele, who is also the creative director and co-president of Chopard, designed the engagement ring especially for the occasion. The jewellers also created the bride's wedding band - 20 square-cut 3.91 carat diamonds also set in white gold."

Okay.  Two things.

1. Bought by the couple from Chopard?  No.  I think not.  Liz Hurley is a hired shill for Chopard.  She is forever seen wearing Chopard everything.  Earrings, watches, necklaces, rings.  Tiaras.  Especially tiaras if she can get her mitts on them.

2. Twenty square-cut 3.91-carat diamonds set in white gold for a wedding band?  Must be a typo.  Her finger would have to be the girth of my wrist to handle twenty nearly 4-carat diamonds in band form.  I think that's 3.91 carats total carat weight.

I hope you're all as thrilled as I am that this affair gave her the opportunity to dress up like a "pretty, pretty princess" (thank you, Bingley) and have many, many wardrobe changes over the course of eight or ten days.

As well it allowed her to drag her already spooky-looking-and-not-ironically-named-Damian kid, expose him to more flashbulbs all, I suppose, in the name of family.

Ugh, poor kid... with a mother like that and an absent sperm-donor priapistic billionaire for a father?

And now a new stepfather who says their life on the farm in Gloucestershire is rather idyllic:

"I'll take Damian out on the tractor while Elizabeth cooks.  It's a bit like the Waltons."

Right...  Just like that.  Can you hear it now?  I can.

Damian:  G'night Mummy.

Elizabeast:  Damian, have you seen Mummy's ring?

Damian:  Oh, no, Mummy.  What ring?

Elizabitch:  Mummy's shiny, shiny ring from her wedding.

Damian:  The ring you wore at the wedding that lasted for six thousand ten million months and years?

Elizzardbreath:  Yes, Damian, sweet Little Lord Fauntleroy, that one, where Mummy wore the tiara on nights 1, 2, 4, 5 and 7.

Damian:  The big knuckle-buster ring you wore at the wedding where they sacrificed the goat and Shilpa Shetty danced until she puked and some weird ladies painted me with mustard paste and Uncle Hugh didn't come because he has some sense?

Eslatternly:  Yeeeeees, that one.  Have you seen my pretty, pretty ring?

Damian:  Uhhh...  nope.  And neither has Paddington.

(photo from British Vogue)

Elizabeth Hurley Not Only Hurls And Hates India, But Doesn't Wash Her Hands Or Have Engagement Ring

Elizabeth Hurley, celebrity shill for Chopard and many others, is currently engaged to this poor bastard, Bombay businessman and cricket player Arun Nayar even though the water and food in India make her violently ill.  Sounds like a match made in heaven!

In preparation for her wedding, at which she sincerely hopes no pesky non-celebrities attend, lest they bother her and stare at her, she is, um, taking damn elephant-riding lessons.

Elephant-riding lessons?  Why?  The Insufferable One is taking elephant-riding lessons so she won't risk looking "inelegant" when she makes her grand entrance at her wedding on a damn elephant.  Elephant.  Oliphant.  Elefante.  Heffalump.  Dumbo.  Big guy.  Hard to miss.

On the largest land mammal.  So everyone can indeed stare at her after all.  Is it okay if celebrities stare at you, then, Liz?  I see.

Further, Elizabitch apparently has no engagement ring, which probably makes it easier for her justify not washing her mitts at parties.

God, she is a pain in the ass, isn't she?  Talk about inelegant.  Look at her in that Chopard tiara in that photo, arms akimbo.  Eek.  She's so...  ick.

He's all, "Where's a cute, young, impressionable Bollywood princess when I need her?  I'm sure she wouldn't complain about the kebabs or get sick."

(photo from Chopard)

Stone Oak Jewelers - San Antonio Jeweler Doing The Next Big Thing

In sharp contrast to a recent article in Idex Online which enumerated the rapid acceleration of specialty independent jeweler closings in the U.S., Dan Dement and his family at Stone Oak Jewelers in San Antonio are experiencing the opposite challenge.

Thanks to self-professed "gadget man" Dement's commitment to stay on top of advances in CAD (computer-aided design) software, RP (rapid-prototyping) devices and a hard-learned personal motto to "over-buy" when it comes to technology, Dement can say with confidence that he, "would hate to be a chain store and try to compete with me."

Dan Dement finished his GIA Graduate Gemology degree over thirty years ago.  Among his career highlights include putting together the Hixon Collection of Colored Stones in the Gem Vault, which is part of the permanent collection at the Los Angeles County Museum of Natural History.  But what he is undoubtedly most proud of is his family, and his family business.

Dan and his son-in-law Mike Bowling man the store on a daily basis, and daughter DeAnna Bowling and wife Tobi Dement alternate days.  DeAnna tells customers how beautiful their ideas and concepts are, and her father Dan figures out how to make them work.  They play a fun game of sweet cop/all-business cop.

According to Dement, "New technology allows American jewelers to bring back quality to the jewelry-making process, while being competitive with the overseas manufacturers...  as long as you're manufacturing quality, you're okay.  The future of the independent jeweler is in rapid prototyping, especially for those who don't have the skills to do handmade wax molds - or even part cast and part handmade molds."

Dement showed me an example of this beautiful radiant-cut emerald ring which commanded over ninety hours of labor to create the "old-fashioned" way, meaning handmade wax molds.  He created ten in that particular series.  If they started in November, he and his staff of jewelers could probably execute three or four of them by Christmas if they were lucky.  That's simply the way it was done.

However, with new RP technology, the same exact ring can be made in only 25 hours.  And by Christmas, nearly everyone who wants their rings, earrings and necklaces can get them.

But is it better?  Indeed it is, in nearly every way.

How?

Let's say your diamond has a "J.Lo" bulge in the girdle (a bumpy or wavy girdle).  In many machined, mass-produced ring settings, the "seat" for the diamond or center stone is not properly cut or shaped and whether you know it or not, you run the risk of losing your stone if it's not set properly.  With RP technology, Dement can make an exact fit for your stone.  Further, he can make heads and prongs for the stones as well.

Now what about the micro-pavé craze?  Can you do that with CAD/CAM and RP?  Yes, you can, and better than ever.  Dement favors the Matrix software, wherein all of the beadwork and prongs are precise and exact.  And get this - it can be cranked out in under a week - even with 200 stones.  At left is a sample of an actual Matrix micro-pavé computer rendering with hundreds of half-point diamonds.

And Dement's micro-pavé will last.  He prefers European shanks, and nearly never runs micro-pavé past the shoulders of a shank so you won't knock stones driving your car or washing dishes.  He likes to "Swiss-cheese" shanks, or do open-weave detail (see above ring) to allow light through make diamonds dazzle.

One piece that caught my eye was a 9.14-carat, certified, non-heat treated yellow sapphire set in platinum and 18K yellow gold with yellow diamonds.

It is a knockout.  The split-shank design is lovely and the diamonds match the sapphire perfectly.  As Dement would say, it's a "forever ring."  Wow.

His current favorites, this week, are the micro-pavé and palladium pieces.  "The palladium gives you a big look for less money than I could do for you last week.  Plus, no rhodium plating.  There's a learning curve there just like everything."

He has no problem telling you if you've got a problem on your hands, so to speak...  if your own diamond is in danger.  It's the good, all-business cop in him.

It's quite obvious, however, that Dan Dement is very grateful for his business and for his family.  "I've been very blessed.  Everyone I know told me I couldn't do it, but it did it.  But it's not me, it's my wife, it's my daughter, it's my son-in-law."  Perhaps that's why, when helping prospective customers make a purchase, he will ask them, "Which one of your great-grandchildren do you want to give this to?"

Beyond that, he makes a cooperative effort to share his .stl files and designs with other jewelers.  He figures the more American jewelers can work together to produce quality goods, the better.  And if he can be a part of that effort, he will.

If you're buying a diamond from Dan, all stones have a GIA certificate, a hearts and arrows mapping, a Sarin machine interpretation, and cut grading if available.

Technology is a wonderful thing.  And married with a traditional family business, Stone Oak Jewelers is a winner.  On a personal note, I would not hesitate to recommend them to anyone or have them do some work for me.  In fact...  watch this space.

(all photos property of Stone Oak Jewelers)

ChicSherlock Is Like, The Coolest Thing Ever

Just who or what is ChicSherlock?  In her own words, ChicSherlock is...

...driven by wanderlust - an adventurous spirit that leads her hunting for the elusive. she never packs lightly.  she travels accompanied by a trunk full of stilettos for every well-heeled occasion and a valise of luxurious essentials like her favorite amethyst ring.

perpetually seeking the chicest in luxury jewelry, she is sharp-eyed and tireless.  she provides access to a vast range of coveted designs, from the one-of-a-kind ring you'll never see on another woman's finger to the of-the-moment pieces adorning the pages of glossy fashion magazines...

In my words, ChicSherlock is a fantastic online collection of fifteen fine designer jewelers brought together on one website by one intrepid purveyor of elite goods.  All of the jewelers have a style uniquely their own.  ChicSherlock provides a bio for each one and photos of their work and prices and a shopping cart.  There are online designer trunk shows.  You can maintain a personal online jewelbox.  You can even seek style support and jewelry fashion advice all in one place.

All of the designers are impressive.  But there are some distinctive standouts.  My very favorites are Alex Soldier and Hanut Singh.  Take a look at ChicSherlock and tell me who you like.

(thanks to Cate Corcoran for the tip)

More Leviev Diamonds For Christmas and Hanukkah

Just in case none of yesterday's beautiful colored diamonds were exactly what you were looking for, perhaps a breathtaking suite of entirely internally flawless, D-color, pear-shape diamonds would do?  The rarity of this matching and quality cannot really be conveyed with words.

Okay, I'll try.

Flawless is one thing.

Internally flawless is entirely another.  This means that there are no flaws.  Not to the naked eye, not under 10x magnification.  No flaws.  Perfect.

And then there's color.

D color.  White, white diamonds.  Wow white diamonds.

Most essential of all of course, would be the cut of the stones.  But honestly?  Do you think that Leviev is going to let such important stones like these be cut by hacks?  Doubt it.  They are likely to have been cut by the masters.  They are probably some of the finest cut stones out there.

The graceful necklace is made of twenty-five pear-shaped diamonds which total 159.19 carats, including the gorgeous 18.61 carat pear-shape keystone in the center.

I just love the way that the pear-shapes are not only graduated in size, but that they are pointed away from the breastbone.  It's very fluid for such large stones, isn't it?  And of course, all of the stones are so well-matched for size.

The thing is a killer.

The earrings are a nearly perfectly matched pair of pear-shapes.

One is 13.09 carats of D internally flawless diamond, and the other is 13.06 carats of D internally flawless diamond.

Their proportions are perfectly matched.  No mismatched pears here.  Gorgeous.

And why not complete the suite with a 15.17 carat D internally flawless pear-shaped center diamond flanked by two pear-shapes weighing 2.12 carats?

All of the pears have the same graceful, womanly, plump-bottom shape that I find so appealing in a perfect pear-shape stone.  No skinny pear-shapes.  Ahhh, what a wonderful set of diamonds these are, no?

(click on photos to enlarge)

(all photos from Leviev)

Red And Green Diamonds For Christmas, Blue for Hanukkah From Leviev

Colored diamonds are a hot commodity right now, perhaps more than ever.  We've often discussed them here on this site.  From red diamonds to green diamonds to famous blue diamonds to orange diamonds to yellow diamonds found in Arkansas and even HPHT methods employed to create colored diamonds, we love colored diamonds.

In case you're short on ideas for what to give that special someone for Christmas or Hanukkah this year, world reknown London jeweler Leviev has a few beauties you might consider.  It's a bit late in the game, but no doubt with a certified check, a wire transfer or a Black American Express Card the good people at the Bond Street location or on Madison Avenue can make your Christmas or Hanukkah wish come true.

Here are some of the very finest examples of colored diamonds available today, all from Leviev.

How about a 1.73 carat Fancy Red radiant cut diamond, surrounded by D-color, internally flawless pear-shape diamonds, totalling 9.62 carats?  It has a distinctive, whimsical cocktail ring look to it.

And won't it be fun when your vapid hostess compliments you and says, "I love that garnet.  Look, Harry, a gar-net!"  And you can say, "Darling, it's a marvelous, umm...  garnet...  yes."  But you'll know what you have, and that's all that matters.

On this second night of Hanukkah, what better way to celebrate the Festival of Lights than with a little light of your own?

I suggest a Fancy Vivid Blue Internally Flawless heart-shaped diamond with two trillion-shaped pink side stones, set in Fancy Intense Pink diamond pavé.  It's just the way to keep the oil burning for the next seven days, don't you think?

And what about those of us who love green things?  This is a Fancy Deep Green radiant-cut diamond with two pink pear-shaped and two pink emerald-cut diamonds, set in pink diamond pavé, totalling 2.17 carats.

Perfect, I daresay, for heading south for Christmas with a suitcase full of Lilly prints and avoiding the crush of the malls and the fools and the gluttons and the restaurants with the 1.5 hour wait for cold food and the hustle and bustle and rudeness.  Sigh.

(click on photos to enlarge)

(all photos from Leviev)

Current Obsession, Part III: The Kwiat Solaris Collection

In honor of Wendy and her adoration for the Kwiat "it" ring of the season, I bring you not one but two Solaris rings.  And earrings.

Hot diggity!

Aren't they simply marvelous?  While the open style on the right is the only one I've seen in the store, the one with the radiant (?) in the center is quite fetching, too.

And just because I care, I found a gorgeous Solaris bracelet cuff, and a swinging pendant on a chain.

Overkill, perhaps.  But we wouldn't turn them away, would we?

(click on photos to enlarge)

(photos from Kwiat)

Current Obsession, Part II: More Kwiat Jewelry

In keeping with the au courant obsession with Kwiat, I bring you these dandy and dainty earrings.

They caught my eye because they're very sweet and very solid at the same time.

There's some movement and dynamism to them, in spite of the fact that they are studs.  They are at once elegant and simple.

They fall into the category of everyday wear, with .79 carats total weight of G-H, VS1 round diamonds set in 18K milgrained white gold.  The stones gradually and gracefully get larger towards the bottom.  The milgraining adds a nice texture and depth to the metalwork.

They are priced at $2535 retail.

(click on photo to enlarge)

(photo from Kwiat)

Current Obsession: The Kwiat Star Earrings

Among my very favorite shiny and sparkly things on the market right now the Kwiat Star earrings are stand-outs.  They are modern classics in the making.  While I don't generally fall in love with the merchandise mercilessly peddled in a company's ubiquitous holiday marketing campaign, these are the rare exception.  I adore them.

They come in two sizes, the more petite .91 carat total weight size and the larger 1.82 carat total weight size.  I've tried both sizes on, and both are equally endearing.  The smaller size earrings fall in the category of daily wear, however, while the larger pair are definitively more inclined for evening or event wear.

They have a very festive holiday (any holiday of your choosing) feel to them.

They are fashioned of G-H, VS1, round brilliant and marquise cut diamonds set in platinum heads on 18K white gold ear wires.  The metal work on the earrings is perfect.  I would expect nothing less from Kwiat.

The only drawback?  At over $3000 retail for the smaller size, they are a bit dear.  Much like Tiffany, the folks at Kwiat command an absolute premium for their goods.  But no doubt they stand behind their merchandise like Tiffany, too.

Kwiat has been around for nearly 100 years.  They cut their own diamonds and they are diamonds that knock your socks off and put your eye out from across the room.  Looking at them in two dimensions does them no justice.  None whatsoever.  They are spectacular diamonds.  In person they are stunning.  Breathtaking, even.

Perhaps I will look them up at the JCK Show in June.  At a bit of a discount they would be well worth my while.  Or even at full fare.  I've often heard dear old mom say that if you love something enough and you'll wear it...

Oh, bother.  Justify, justify.

(click on photo to enlarge for detail)

(photo from Kwiat)